After 5 years since my first relationship, I thought I could experience being in love again. The feeling this time is much better and real than the last time. However, it's short-lived too...Two failed relationships but this was the worst one. My first relationship ended just by smsing the break up by my ex. But I was not that upset cause I agree with him and I was about to initiate too, it's a matter of time. However, this present relationship had hurt me and left a scar and shadow in my life. I dunno if I can still accept another relationship that quickly. But everytime I mention to people about what happened and even typing this entry, has made me really upset about it. I believe it's a matter of time that I'll get over this but I'm trying to be like myself again. But it's really hard to get over this relationship so quickly. Guess cause I liked him more than he liked me anyway. It's realli hard to find a bf that is Christian too and from the same church as me but from different service. But guess this experience has made me realise that there are certain things which shouldn't be mentioned to your bf as it may affect a relationship. I tried to hold back my tears yesterday when he initiated the break-up, I thought I could really take it, but guess what he said really hurt me a lot. I did not even wanna explain much but guess he really did not understand me at all. I can be sporty. When playing games and stuffs, I'm sporty, I like going to beach too. If it's not for my skin condition, I would love to hang out at beaches with friends too. This has been affecting my life and he did not even know. Guess I know how all my doubts are so clear now....I need not even tell him what my previous doubts were. But can a couple realli be back to friends and then consider each other again as getting back together again? The answer is No, such thigns only happen in drama series or in stories. We can probably be friends again but that feeling can never come back anymore. Not when one party is badly affected by it. I'm hurt is because he never even understand what this will impact on me, that interests and getting to know each other better can be developed thru process of even being together. It's just that whether both are willing to make such commitments. Come to think of it, I am always the one making commitments instead of him. So this break up may be a good thing. He spends more time with his friends than to his gf. And he claims he's thinking of long term plans...guys are really insensitive and really slow in thinking...I just hope I won't be always alone then I will not think about the sad things again...But I'm only working thrice a week and this week only twice...I wun touch the blog after this entry. So hopefully my next entry here, I'll be willing to let go of the hurting and accept the present state. I'll still be updating movie screening and song update. I'm sure all the songs here will be all sad love songs as yet...

Met up with Weiyi and his gf, Jia En yesterday for lunch together with Rachel and Jo. Had such a great time catching up on things like his college life in Indiana (the States) and his experience working in farm life. Damn funny. It's really great to know that I still have such great friends to be with me though that time was before we broke up. Then Luther came and meet me to watch Star Wars. This is the last movie we'll watch I guess. I really think that this will be the last. We had initially agreed on watching Madagascar and Monster In Law together but I guess we won't ask to anymore. The only time we'll go out together again is prob together with Jo, Rach, Kailin they all. The movie was quite nice. Having known that this is the last Star Wars movie that is ever going to be remade by George Lucas and it took a whole 5 years for the whole planning and production and filming, it sure pays it off. The fighting scenes were great...A lot of kids with their parents were watching too. So saw a lot of kids actually went to toilet breaks with their mothers.

Rachel ---> Thanks for being there yesterday night when I needed to talk to someone really badly. Guess I really felt much better after telling someone how I felt. I really hope you'll also think of me when u need help or problems. I'll lend u a listening ear too. Thanks gal!

Josiah ---> No need to keep thinking of not being able to pick up my phone when I called u the first thing. I know u are also concerned for me when u msg me after seeing the miss call anyway. Know u wanna console me but just dunno how. I know you so your action already show me. Thanks pal!

Kailin ---> Thanks for showing your concern just by putting your arm over my shoulder even without saying a word. I can feel your concern already. Thanks babe!

All my other friends like Caihui, Mingli, Bernard and all my other friends ---> Thanks for your concern. Really appreciate it. Dun worry for me. It's not a life and death. I'll just treat this an a learning experience and will get over it. You'll soon see my smiling face again....