We see what you're up to. We know your game. Ladies, you've been rumbled.

You can try telling us 10 times a day that you love us just the way we are, but your behaviour (more commonly known as 'nagging') suggests otherwise. We blokes know that what you are actually trying to do is gradually mould us into the man you want us to be - perfect, obedient husband fodder.

Sadly, the blighted dreams of billions of men suggests that you will, ultimately, get your way. But not with everything - there are some things we are impervious to, some aspects of our lives you will never take away from us...


We will always lie to you (If it's white lies it's fine...)

Not big, nasty fibs of course (we would never admit to that), but little white lies that actually serve a purpose - namely making you feel better about yourself and keeping us out of trouble.

So when you ask us if your outfit looks good, if we remembered to pay the electricity bill or if we are looking forward to your parents coming to stay, then we will always, always answer in the affirmative. Why? Because the alternative is too painful to contemplate.


We will always sneak a look at other women (That is so true, but gals does it too!)

You might think you're the only girl your boyfriend looks at, but I guarantee he checks out at least 10 different females every single day.

One or two of them might even make him stop and think, 'I wonder what life with her would be like'. But don't let this worry you - in the end we always realise that it's a case of 'the grass is always greener', and that other girl would probably turn out to be dull as dishwater.

Despite our wandering eye, we never forget why we're with you in the first place.


We will always talk about you (Girls will also do that too, we need to find common topics too!)

Think your peccadilloes and idiosyncrasies stay between you and your boyfriend? Not a chance. No matter how often you do something embarrassing or, more likely, completely irrational, and then follow it with "please don't tell anyone about this", it will of course be the first thing we blab to our mates down the pub.

Sorry about that, but we need to check if it's normal. And have a good laugh at your expense, too...


We will never care about clothes as much as you do (Girls will also hope the guy will also do the same for the girl except perhaps when they are shopping together and he offers to pay...)

The vast majority of straight men don't really care about fashion. We like to look good, but shopping is so much easier for men, and as a result we spend less time worrying about what we're wearing.

If you want us to dress better, fine, feel free to buy us new clothes, just don't expect a huge amount of effort on our part.


We will never stop watching sport (I can also watch World Cup together too!)

Most men like sport, and while we understand that we'll be watching less of it if and when we move in together, do not, do not expect us to give it up altogether.

If it's not allowed on in the house, then we'll simply seek it elsewhere, usually in a pub. And don't complain about the World Cup when it takes over the TV schedules - it's only once every four years.


We will never want to talk about it (That is so true for most guys but I hope he's not one of them)

While women are much more grown up about talking about their feelings, for us it will always be torture. We understand the benefits of getting one's emotions out into the open, but that doesn't mean we have to like it, does it?


We will always resent you for taking so long to get ready (Lucky I don't take that long time to get ready. This only applies if they are staying together...)

As a man who has been in a long-term relationship and who grew up in a house full of females, I estimate I have spent around 98% of my life waiting by the front door for one of them to reach a place where they feel comfortable going outside.

In fact, I've become so finely attuned to how long it takes said girlfriend to get ready, that I can perfectly time when I should go for my shower (it's usually when she has just finished putting her make-up on).


Our attitude to sex will always be different to yours (This might be so true for every women's views!!!)

I hate to generalise, but most women think of sex in a different way to men. Whereas you value your body and need to feel close to someone before sleeping with them (this actually makes sense when you see it written down), we would take it pretty much any hour of the day, even if we didn't feel like it.

Why? Because we remember our teenage years when having sex with a girl was about as attainable as winning the lottery, and the thought of ever turning it down would have had us shaking our heads in despair.


We will never be as good at correspondence as you (This is so true, no wonder I wrote a few but yet I don't really get much back in return, lucky I understand men are always not expressive enough)

What is it with women and sending cards? Thank you, Sorry, Happy Birthday, Congratulations, We'd love to come but we think you're a div... the possibilities for sending a note are endless.

We'll be forever hopeless at it, and if I ever sent a card to a friend to say thanks for having us round to dinner, he'd think I'd gone mad. Which is why we'll leave it to you - don't pretend this doesn't make you happy.


We will never say you have put on weight (No wonder...this is so true!)

Though you wouldn't think twice about pointing a finger at our paunch and saying, "this has to go", not in a billion years would we ever, ever draw attention to cellulite on your thighs or even the slightest hint of a muffin top.

I've made this mistake in the past, and the resulting histrionics mean I will never do it again. We really do get blamed for everything, you know...